Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do. 1 Thessalonians 5:11
Meet Vanessa Gruba – Funeral Director at Stevenson & Sons Funeral Home in Miles City, Montana
Vanessa was born in Wyoming and grew up in Montana, where she graduated from Eastern Montana College in 1991. She married her husband Ed in 1989, and they have 2 daughters Alexis and Mikenna. In the past two years she has gained a son-in-law Brenden and two granddaughters Georgia and Blayke. Vanessa was an elementary teacher and school counselor for the Miles City School District for 25 years before retiring and going back to college. She studied at the Pittsburgh Institute of Mortuary Science where she received her Mortuary Science Degree. Vanessa is active in many community activities. She loves the outdoors, testing out new recipes, reading, watching movies, hockey and football. Her top priority is spending quality time with her family and friends. Vanessa is a member of the Montana Funeral Directors Association. Stevenson & Sons Funeral Homes – Serving families in the Montana communities of Miles City, Forsyth, Lame Deer, Broadus, Circle, Jordan and Terry.
Visitation Attire
Of course, many things have changed over the years – most especially the last 100 years. Just think, in 1925, horse and buggy were still a primary way to get from point A-B. Now we have automobiles – and for long distances, we have jet aircraft. If not advancements, those are huge changes.
When visiting a gravesite, many things have also changed. Things that would have been considered utterly disrespectful a short time ago, are now relatively common at cemeteries. This author is in his late 70’s, and so the suggestions and comments should be considered, well, old school.
I believe it’s extremely important to dress respectfully and conservatively when visiting gravesites at the cemetery. That being said, here are some general guidelines for proper attire:
- Wear dark or muted colors: Black, navy, gray, or other subdued tones are most popular and appropriate.
- Choose modest clothing: Avoid revealing outfits. Opt for trousers, (long pants) skirts, or dresses of knee length or greater.
- Select comfortable shoes: Wear closed-toe shoes suitable for walking on grass or uneven ground. The is often dew on cemetery grass in the morning, so be sure your footwear selection is suitable.
- Consider the weather: Dress appropriately for the season. Don’t let yourself overheat or become cold. Layering is always a good option.
- Avoid flashy accessories: Keep your jewelry and other accessories simple and understated. You’re there to show respect, not draw attention to yourself.
No matter what you wear to visit a gravesite at the cemetery, you should be very proud of yourself for remembering those who we cared about. One of the most human and meaningful acts you can perform is joining someone who is visiting the gravesite of a loved one.
May all of our loved ones live on forever in our minds and rest in peace…
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Planning Ahead
More and more people are realizing the many advantages of prearranging their funerals. The process is simple, and the benefits to the loved ones who are left to handle the arrangements are very well recognized and appreciated. To accommodate the growing need for professional pre-planning support, we provide highly trained and experienced Pre-Need Counselors at Stevenson & Sons:
Lynn Anderson in Miles City, Montana • 406-232-4457
Natalie Boey in Helena, Montana • 406-442-8520
Steve Pearce in Williston, North Dakota • 701-572-6329
Some of the benefits of prearranging are:
Pre-planning allows you to express your own wishes • It means that your loved ones will not have to make a number of important decisions during a time of mourning • Your funeral plan is transferable, in case you move away • It relieves your family of the financial burden • It allows your loved ones to spend their time comforting each other during a time of grief, instead of concerning themselves with the specifics of the arrangements • When pre-planning, there are both guaranteed and non-guaranteed plans available to choose from • It allows you the opportunity to discuss your final arrangements with family members to ensure clarity, and to ensure that those responsible are comfortable with all of your decisions.
If you’d like to know more, we recommend visiting: https://www.whypreplan.org/
Funeral Planning Aid
We frequently receive questions regarding what the person responsible for making funeral arrangements should expect. Since we’ve received so many requests for this information, we are placing a link which allows our newsletter subscribers to download a complete copy of our Funeral Planning Aid. The informative article is presented as a PDF – simply click the PDF Button below to access it. That way, if you wish, you may keep it on your computer for future reference or sharing with others. If after you read the article, you have any questions, please contact one of our pre-planning professionals: Lynn Anderson in Miles City, Montana at 406-232-4457 • Steve Pearce Williston, North Dakota at 701-572-6329 • Natalie Boey in Helena, Montana at 406-442-8520. To download the Funeral Planning aid PDF CLICK HERE.
Who’s eligible for Military Funeral Honors?
- Military members on active duty or in the Selected Reserve.
- Former military members who served on active duty and departed under conditions other than dishonorable.
- Former military members who completed at least one term of enlistment or period of initial obligated service in the Selected Reserve and departed under conditions other than dishonorable.
- Former military members discharged from the Selected Reserve due to a disability incurred or aggravated in the line of duty.
How to establish veteran eligibility
Submit the DD Form 214. The DD Form 214 may be obtained by filing a completed Standard Form 180 with: National Personnel Records Center(NPRC) • 9700 Page Blvd. • St. Louis, MO 63132. The Standard Form 180 may be obtained from: http://www.archives.gov/research/order/standard-form-180.pdf
Headstones for Veterans
For complete information and ordering, please visit: Legislative Changes Concerning Eligibility for Headstones, Markers and Medallions – National Cemetery Administration (va.gov)
Supporting Others
If you know someone who would benefit from the uplifting messages and support information we provide in these monthly newsletters, they can sign up to receive their own copy here. It’s a great way to lend your support to a friend or a family member.
Financial Assistance
If you lost a loved one due to Covid-19, you may qualify for financial assistance for your family’s funeral expenses. Click here to find out more information. Recently posted on the FEMA Covid-19 Funeral Assistance page: The COVID-19 incident period ended on May 11, 2023. FEMA will continue to provide funeral assistance until Sept. 30, 2025, to those who have lost loved ones due to this pandemic.
GriefSteps® — A Year of Grief Support
Sign up for one year of weekly grief messages designed to provide strength and comfort during this challenging time. Sign up here.
